Gluten-free goodness.

I've felt both relieved and sad to realize that I'm going to be giving up wheat for at least several months before trying it again: relieved because I'm confident that doing so will help me continue to feel good, but sad obviously because it means not eating a lot of things I love eating. I know there are wheat-free versions of bread and cookies and muffins and such, but you can't buy them at restaurants, or order them at the Bojangles drive-thru, and they usually aren't what's on offer at social gatherings.

In addition to the practical aspect of just not eating something I'm used to eating, there's the awkwardness I feel when explaining to someone why I'm not eating it. I turned down some girl scouts selling cookies outside the Harris Teeter, and found myself explaining "Gosh, I wish I could, but I don't eat wheat." First of all, I don't know why I didn't just say "No thanks" and leave it at that. And second of all, as I walked away, I realized that I didn't want to say "I can't eat wheat" not only because it sounds so limiting and permanent, but because I'm afraid of the follow up question "Oh, why not?" that I don't have a good answer for.

I don't have celiac disease, which is the one diagnosis people might recognize. I don't have ANY disease according to the four doctors I've seen in the last year. I have no official diagnosis from anybody. And people without diagnoses sound crazy. I can't say "my doctor told me I shouldn't eat wheat" because my doctor took very little interest in my new diet, and I've had to figure it all out by myself. And I start to sound like some wacky alternative health fanatic when I try to explain that "I haven't been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, but I've had a lot of the symptoms, and one alternative theory for what causes arthritis has to do with food allergies and so I did this diet..." Nobody wants to listen through that explanation, and I feel obnoxious giving it.

And if what I've been reading is correct, I could very well eat wheat again in six months and be able to tolerate it again without symptoms. I hate garnering sympathy, and don't want people to think I'm either some hyperchondriac diva insisting on inconvenient food, or some sad case of chronic arthritis, facing a tragic future of disability and deformity. Which is maybe why I like writing about it on here - I can give a cursory explanation to any friend that asks, and then refer them to my blog if they're really interested. I suppose I don't like drawing attention to myself, and I don't like feeling as though something about me is defective.

I swung down the ethnic food aisle of Harris Teeter yesterday. I haven't bought much in the way of packaged food lately, with the exception of a few dairy products, and tea. But after reading a few labels, I found some exciting new foods to add to my list of foods-that-don't-make-me-feel-80-years-old. Rice noodles, and rice crackers, and my favorite....rice chex!!! It's even labelled "gluten-free"! I can finally get my cereal fix.

I've got sweet potato casserole in the oven right now, and the apartment smells like cinnamon. I restocked on fresh fruit, and picked up some locally grown kale I'm going to play with tomorrow. There might be more rice pudding in the offing for later, and I've been looking for some recipes for homemade honey-glazed peanuts that I plan on trying soon. I'm not about to let one missing ingredient stand between me and food happiness. Wheat, I hope we meet again on better terms, but until then, I won't be losing sleep over you.