Dear DMV...

Dear DMV on Idlewild Road off of Independence:

Here are some suggestions for making peoples' experiences at your establishment a) less than four hours long and b) not prone to causing violent thoughts.

1. I understand you have a very small office and a very small hallway. If people have to queue up out along the sidewalk in the heat for an hour or more, you should find some local school children to sell lemonade. It also might be nice to provide some benches. You could also move to a bigger office.

2. Patch up the three fist-sized holes in the hallway walls. By the time people get to the hallway, chances are they've been waiting an hour already, and don't need reminders that they really just want to hit something.

3. Clean the walls in the hallway. Seeing the visible accumulation of people's butt- and head-filth rubbed along the walls in parallel gray smudgy stripes subtly suggests that the DMV as a great place to catch communicable diseases.

4. Rather than have a lady pop out of the door once every two hours to remind people that this office doesn't do tags and registration, have you considered posting that in written form someplace outside so people can find that out before waiting in line for two hours.

5. Since you don't accept credit cards, or out-of-state checks, putting an ATM in your building would be smart. As a side note, the ATM at the Circle K across the street is out of order.

6. You might want to instruct your employees that, while friendly is better than surly, when someone has been at the DMV for three-and-a-half hours already, they would probably prefer not to have a conversation about Keanu Reeves movies if the employee perpetuating the conversation cannot talk and type at the same time.

Sincerely,

Me